Well, if he'd take his nose out of those scrolls for a second, and get some exercise
Madeline: Too bad he isn't more like his mother. Now she knew how to have a good time!
Martha: Here, let me try Come join us, Dionysus!
Dionysus Jr.: No, thank you. I think I'll umm catalog the contents of this refrigidarium.
Martha: Suit yourself! Come on, girls! Let's go frolic in the meadows!
The nymphs exit stage left. Dionysus goes to the refrigerator and starts removing objects.
Dionysus Jr.: (examining a container of food) Looks like the romaine revolted against this caesar! (holds up a can of juice) Ew what's the expiry date on this? 1?! No wonder it smells sour!
The nymphs return, stage left.
Madeline: Dionysus! You missed some hard core frolicking! Man, are we thirsty!
Martha: Yeah, Dionysus. Get us something to drink!
Dionysus Jr.: Well, all I have is this (holds up the grape juice)
Martha: Oh, don't be so squeamish!
(grabs the juice and takes a big drink)
Hey! Not bad! Madeline, try this!
Madeline: (takes a drink) Got a bit of kick to it, doesn't it?
Martha: Dionysus, I think you've found your divine destiny!
Dionysus Jr.: Super.
The nymphs start sharing the juice back and forth while getting Dionysus Jr. ready to leave Nysa.
Dionysus: Now I admit that I was intrigued by its chemical composition, but I really had no intention of making its distribution my life's work. But the Fates and the nymphs had other plans.
(The nymphs start to push Dionysus Jr. to stage left)
Madeline: (in a slurred tone) Goodbye little Dionysus. Come back and visit us soon!
Dionysus Jr.: Oh, let me give you a big hug!
(When he goes to hug them, the nymphs pass out drunk)
Lights fade on forest center stage as Dionysus Jr. exits stage left.
Dionysus: Everywhere I went, people expected me to be the god of wine and party all the time but partying really exacerbates my heart murmur!
Medea: Ah-ha! Divine inadequacy issues! (into intercom) Psyche, cancel my 3:00 with Theseus.