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Martha: Well, if he'd take his nose out of those scrolls for a second, and get some exercise…

Madeline: Too bad he isn't more like his mother. Now she knew how to have a good time!

Martha: Here, let me try… Come join us, Dionysus!

Dionysus Jr.: No, thank you. I think I'll umm…catalog the contents of this refrigidarium.

Martha: Suit yourself! Come on, girls! Let's go frolic in the meadows!

The nymphs exit stage left. Dionysus goes to the refrigerator and starts removing objects.

Dionysus Jr.: (examining a container of food) Looks like the romaine revolted against this caesar! (holds up a can of juice) Ew…what's the expiry date on this? 1?! No wonder it smells sour!

The nymphs return, stage left.

Madeline: Dionysus! You missed some hard core frolicking! Man, are we thirsty!

Martha: Yeah, Dionysus. Get us something to drink!

Dionysus Jr.: Well, all I have is this… (holds up the grape juice)

Martha: Oh, don't be so squeamish!

(grabs the juice and takes a big drink)

Hey! Not bad! Madeline, try this!

Madeline: (takes a drink) Got a bit of kick to it, doesn't it?

Martha: Dionysus, I think you've found your divine destiny!

Dionysus Jr.: Super.

The nymphs start sharing the juice back and forth while getting Dionysus Jr. ready to leave Nysa.

Dionysus: Now I admit that I was intrigued by its chemical composition, but I really had no intention of making its distribution my life's work. But the Fates…and the nymphs had other plans.

(The nymphs start to push Dionysus Jr. to stage left)

Madeline: (in a slurred tone) Goodbye little Dionysus. Come back and visit us soon!

Dionysus Jr.: Oh, let me give you a big hug!

(When he goes to hug them, the nymphs pass out drunk)

Lights fade on forest center stage as Dionysus Jr. exits stage left.

Dionysus: Everywhere I went, people expected me to be the god of wine and party all the time…but partying really exacerbates my heart murmur!

Medea: Ah-ha! Divine inadequacy issues! (into intercom) Psyche, cancel my 3:00 with Theseus.

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