Page 6

3rd maenad: Let's give her a makeover!

4th maenad: Good plan. Agave, pass me the scissors, and someone get me some fabric!

(All the maenads crowd around a terrified screaming Pentheus, while Dionysus Jr. watches in helpless horror)

Pentheus: My nads! My nads!

(everyone falls silent)

Agave: This isn't a her, it's a him!

3rd maenad: And you killed him!

1st maenad: With the scissors!

(They all back away from Pentheus who is lying on the ground, dead)

Medea: Note to self: cancel appointment with king Pentheus.

Dionysus Jr. beckons the maenads to leave stage left with him, leaving Agave with her son, center stage.

Agave: Oh no! My son, my only son! He's…he's…a cross-dresser!

The lights fade center stage.

Medea: (ecstatic) Fantastic! Your life sucks! (into intercom) Psyche! Tell Dido she's got a lot to live for, and tell Jason he'll have to reschedule!

Psyche enters stage left and begins to talk to Dido.

Dionysus: Wow! THE Jason? Now he has problems! I hear his ex-wife was such an evil conniving witch, that he killed his sons, his fiancée, and future father-in-law! What a psycho beast!

Medea: He just wouldn't quit whining about that lost sandal!!

Jason: (stands up and looks down at the bunny slipper that he is wearing in place of a sandal) I don't know…it's just not the same…

Medea: I'm sorry everyone…but it looks like our time is up!

(she grabs an ax from beside her desk and chases Dionysus off stage right while waving the ax)