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Semele: (sighs and points) Over there! Hetaira: Umm, that's closer to 7:30. I think his name is Narcissus. Semele: Narcissus? Nice name! I'm going to talk to him. She walks over to Narcissus and begins to flirt with him. He turns around to reveal he gazing into a mirror. Narcissus: (snottily) Could you excuse us? We're having a bit of a moment here. Semele: (returning to her friend, deeply upset) Well, forget him. He's a little too…what's the word? Too… Hetaira: Narcissistic? Semele: Yeah, that's it! (noticing Hermaphroditus) Wow! Will you look at that cutie? Hetaira: Umm, that's Hermaphroditus. I don't think you want to- Semele: (cutting in) I'm going to talk to him. She walks over to Hermaphroditus and begins to flirt with him. He turns toward the audience to reveal his feminine side. Semele, deeply frightened, returns to her friend. Forget him! He was a…umm…a… Hetaira: A Hermaphrodite? Semele: Yeah, that's it! (noticing the food sample stand) Hey! Munchies! That rocks! 'Cause I am so totally fammed! Semele walks over to a booth labelled "Squid or Calamari?" As she samples, Zeus enters, stage right. As he walks past the passers-by, one woman faints and is dragged off, stage right. Hetaira: (attempting to get Semele's attention) Sem…Sem…Sem! Semele: (turning around) I don't know, they're both kind of chewy. What do you want? Hetaira: (pointing at Zeus) Look at that one! What a hottie! Semele: He's coming this way! Act natural! (they both try to look as natural as possible) Zeus: Hello, ladies. My name's Zeus. Semele: That's all I need to know! She drags Zeus off stage right, leaving her friend in the agora. The lights fade on the agora. Dionysus: So there you have it. My father was arrogant, my mother was an airhead and I was an accident! And they wonder why I'm asthmatic. Are you listening? Medea: But of course! This is great! (speaks into intercom) Psyche, cancel my next appointment. (to Dionysus) Marriage counseling with Oedipus…now that's a complex problem. So, your parents, Smelly and Zorro meet, then what? As Medea speaks, Psyche enters stage left, and informs Oedipus and Jocasta of the change. They leave stage left, disgruntled. |
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