Medea: (irritated) Yes, well, umm… So, you traveled to Greece.

Dionysus: Yes, but it was a terrible mistake. Everywhere I went, my party animal reputation preceded me. But after months of traveling, I finally decided to settle down in Thebes and realize my dream.

Medea: And what was this dream?

Dionysus: "Dionysus' All Girls School of Etiquette". What a disaster.

Medea: (excited) What? Arson? Incest? Accidental death?

Dionysus: The last one. You see, my cousin, king Pentheus of Thebes was so obsessed with my all girls school that…

Pentheus: So, I'm going to go up there and find out what it is they're doing. I won't be long.

Servant: Uh, you're not planning to go up there looking like that are you?

Pentheus: Looking like what?

Servant: Uh…like that. You'll never get in looking like a man. You're going to have to look a little more…feminine.

(she pulls a chiton out of the box and tosses it at Pentheus)

Here, this will do.

Pentheus: Why, this is absurd! Although…I do like the neckline and the colour really does bring out my eyes. (he puts it on)

Medea: Note to self: Make appointment with king Pentheus.

(Pentheus smears on some lipstick and puts on some blush and a wig. He picks up a mirror and admires himself)

Pentheus: (singing horribly) I'm lovely! Absolutely lovely! Who could doubt the loveliness of me?…

(He continues to hum his song until he comes to the maenads who enter stage left with Dionysus Jr.)

Dionysus Jr.: And remember, when meeting new people, belching is now considered to be rude. And Agave, remember, short dainty steps, no lumbering.

1^st maenad: (referring to Pentheus) Ew! What is she wearing? That colour does not match that lipstick!

2^nd maenad: And the hair? So passé.